Doanwanna Poopoo | 
04 30th, 2009| 
Apr
7
Mar
25
Just found out that the great Motley Crue is bringing their music festival back to Dallas again this summer. I was there for the first one and I can’t wait for Cruefest 2.
There is a much harder supporting cast this year as Godsmack, Theory of a Deadman, & Drowning Pool join the bill, so I better get my neck in shape. I look forward to sucking down a few beers and having a blast with some friends as we crush this! I’ve heard there might even be a special appearance from Speedboat Jesus…that’d be rad.
Get your devil horns ready, secure a designated driver, and bring a valid ID because this one is gonna get crazy. I’m even thinking about wearing a special costume.
Feb
2
So a story broke this weekend about Michael Phelps smoking pot and wow; what a nightmare for this poor kid. Now, it seems, everyone is making him out to be this horrible guy. What a crock of shit.
He’s 23. He’s rich. And, as it so happens, he is probably one of the most famous athletes in the world since kicking everyone’s ass in the summer olympics last year. Why not smoke a bowl at a party, for cryin’ out loud!!??!! Hell, I’m none of those things and I’m more than happy to clear a tube every now and then!
What sucks is, now everyone is coming down on him.
“He let the kids down,” they say.
“His image is tainted,” they snicker.
“Get the fuck out of here with all that bullshit,” is what I say. I get that it’s not legal. As dumb as our current drug policy is; the fact does remain that it’s illegal. Just like driving too fast is. So is not using your turn signal. And jay-walking.
And while I’m on the “moving violations” bit…let’s go ahead and address the DUI he got when he was 19. Did you ever hear about that last summer? Me either.
Because it’s weed the guy’s image is ruined. And I feel bad for him. I do, though, feel great for the pot-smokers of the world. I mean, if the world’s most decorated athlete of all-time (as far as Olympic medals go, anyway) can smoke a little bud, maybe there’s hope for the rest of us. It just goes to show that “Reefer Madness” is nothing more than a bunch of crap.
Jul
18
Jun
14
Great bit on SNL. Steve Carell was handing out diplomas to a senior class and these were the names:
- Eileen Dover
- Phil McCracken
- Pat McGroin
- Jack David Mehoff
- Mike Anthony Hunt
- Lotta Christine Semen
- Rod Steven Gazenya
- Peter Brian Gazenya
- Wilma Ruth Fingerdo
- Cumona Elizabeth Wannalaya
- Eton Thomas Bush
- Ophillia Jane Pecker
- Haywood Paul Jablowme
- Yuben Alexa Yankenoff
- Clamidia Marie Carrier
- Dick Hurtz
- Buster Wingay Hymen
- Cravin Pomera Morehead
- Harry Albert Cox
- Harry Barton Dicks
- Harry Dennison Crank
- Harry Michael Schwantz
- Harry Charles Wombass
- Harry Milton Wang
- Harry Kimbal Dong
- Harry Stewart Yingyang
- Harry Mot Ballsak
- Harry Nicolas Paratestes III
- Yawanna Nailer
- I. Sherwood Nailer
- Avery Boykin Nailer
- Howell U. Nailer
- Ivana Doer Bottom
- Tamara Willit Hurt
- Albe Dun Qwik
- Justin Defront Sailor
- Orell Canby Good
- Orell Isreal Fast
- Ann Safer Tune
- Orelly May Wurk
- Willa Uletus Know
- Major Dildo Pounder
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