To all of our friends out there that have kids, you’ll know where I’m coming from on this…
We can all remember the magic of Christmas, right? With two young girls of my own at home, that “magic” is back once again. It’s really cool to see them believe in Santa and Rudolph and Frosty and the whole deal. “Cute” is even an understatement when you see a 3 year-old’s eyes light up at the sight of a department store Santa. That being said, I now know that there is no magic at all…quite the contrary, actually.
It would be magic if someone else would mysteriously assemble this friggin’ swingset that has a 52-page instruction manual. It would be magic if I didn’t have to dig through the attic every December to bring down the 4 dozen boxes of Christmas decorations, lights, trees, wreaths, and anything else you could possibly imagine. Then put it all back a month later. It would be magic if Santa really did bring all these awesome toys for the kids on his dime. (This just in…it’s expensive as hell, physically taxing, sleep depriving, and chaotic…especially with a wife who does a pretty damn good impersonation of Martha Stewart around the house.) But no…none of that magic happens. So guess what kids? I’m here to blow the lid off the whole myth. It’s NOT magic. THERE IS NO SANTA. It’s your parents buying the toys, deciphering instruction manuals that are written in 17 languages, stuffing your stockings, putting up the lights, and absorbing the whip….all for you. Why? Because we love you and we want you to buy in to this facade for at least a couple more years.
Don’t get me wrong, I love it all…I really do. But DAMN!!
Anyway, here’s to the magic of Christmas. ‘Tis the season, blah blah blah…
December 13th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
There’s no Santa!!!???
You mean my damn wife has been speaking in 3rd person this whole time?
And who is this clown that keeps showing up at all of these events dressed in a red suit with a beard and has my kids sit in his lap? Pervert?
Damn you Matt… damn you for killing my dream!